Ezra Rhodes: A Birth Story

I woke up in the early hours of October 8th to the beginning of faint contractions and the calm of rain and the pitter patter on the window. Not certain what I was feeling, was in fact,the beginning of babies journey, I took time to soak up the quiet time as the rest of the family, and a house full of company, slept peacefully away. By the time 6am arrived, I was certain that the pains I were feeling were babies little nudge for his momma to get up and moving. They were now 10 minutes apart. I woke my husband,followed by waking my Mom who was visiting for Thanksgiving weekend, announcing it was time to go. As the contractions were regular and consistent, I felt calm. It was time. I jumped in the hot shower, knowing that this was the last time I would be viewing my belly as it was. Just before we left, I was able to wake my big boy up at his regular wake time and spend a few, but very precious moments, with him. I knew his world would be changed from this point forward. We were transitioning from a family of three to four, and I wanted our last few moments of all he has ever known to be imprinted in my mind forever. Knowing he was being left in good hands with family, I grabbed my hot tea and headed out to a cool, wet and crisp fall morning. I was prepared to meet my second son. When we arrived at the hospital, contractions had picked up and were now five minutes apart, according to my calculations. I was monitored for about twenty minutes, checked and told to come back, as I was only about 1cm dilated. I was in early labor and not active labor. I was very discouraged, but knew my body, and knew that it would not be long until we returned. My husband and I walked the perimeter of the hospital once, soaking in the peacefulness of the morning. Contractions picked up and I was not able to walk or talk through them. My body was ready. I was a little hesitant upon returning back so soon, as it had only been one hour, but the pain was all too consuming. Upon being checked, I was now 4cm dilated and was admitted. I immediately requested an epidural, as I had one with my first born, and the pain I was feeling seemed unimaginable and untolerable. The contractions were quick and I could feel pressure. After a few minutes (what seemed like hours to me), the nurse came back and said the words that no woman, who is in active labor, and has it in her mind that she WILL be getting an epidural wants to hear: "the anthestisoligst called and said he will be another 1.5 hours." Immediately, I knew I didn't have 1.5 hours. My heart sank, my emotions overcame me. I felt helpless. I couldn't do this. I needed help. I needed relief. Any mental/emotional strength that I had was suddenly lost. I began whimpering like a child. I wanted this to stop. The nurse told me she could get me something else to help, but needed to check me. I had quickly dilated to 7-8cm and said there was no time for any pain relief. I began fighting the contractions instead of riding with them, mentally telling myself it needed to stop. The labor needed to be put on hold. I was at a loss of what to do. I became out of tune with my body. Sensing this, the nurse suggested I get in the shower, which I gladly was receptive to. I began to get up, but all of a sudden the pressure to push was more immediate. The OB had arrived and after checking, he said we could start. Wonderful! Pushing was the easiest part of Owen's labor and I was so relieved to be able to start this process. I began to feel my strength come back, my confidence that I COULD do this. My break in between contractions and pushing was very minimal. I had about 20-30 seconds before the next one started. They were strong and they were the intense. I remember the OB commenting on how fast they were (must have been all the red raspberry tea I drank during the last few weeks of pregnancy!). I pushed for about close to an hour. My strength and my mental spot for pushing was to visualize my sweet boy, Owen's face at home, as he was my reality of what labor was and is all about. He is what reminded me that all the pain I was feeling was and will be worth it. With every push, my husband and OB would state how close I was, however, after a few pushes, this gave me false hope! I wanted baby boy here and I wanted him now. I continuously had to remind myself of my ability and my strength. Throughout the pushing process, there were a couple times where I remember being so physically exhausted that I could not keep doing this. I was done. And finally...that moment where you feel baby crowning, and no matter how painful it is, a huge sense of relief and peace came over me. He was here. In a few seconds, my baby boy would be in my arms. He would be mine. I did it. Ezra Rhodes Boylan was born into my arms on his due date, Monday, October 8th at 11:24AM, Thanksgiving Day 2012. What a beautiful site he was. At first glance, I knew he was tinier than his big brother and oh, was he a screamer! He weighed in at 8 pds 8 ounces, 21 inches long. He was perfect. in every single way. The moments after birth were filled with a sense of accomplishment, a sense of strength, tired and exhaustive emotions and relief. Ezra's birth was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life thus far. It forced me to look inside myself and pull strength that I never knew I had. I had to change my frame of mind in seconds under intense circumstances. Although my two boys had very different births, I needed to do what I had to do in both, and really, isn't that what a momma does? This birth story does not stop with the arrival of Ezra Rhodes. Ezra's birth is different from our first, as we now have big brother. Owen's first time meeting his little brother will be forever etched in my heart. I had felt guilty for months leading up to Ezra's arrival as I felt I was taking something away from Owen's world. We were so content as a little family of three and I was about to shake the only world he has known. But big brother? He came into our hospital room, hesitant but curious. When he saw baby, his shy little grin that I love, appeared on his face as he gave baby a pat on his blankie and a kiss. Although I may have questioned, I never doubted how much my sweet little boy would welcome his baby. One week post partum, Owen loves his baby "bruda" Ezra. Although we have seen a few changes in his personality, he never once puts his frustrations towards Ezra. He loves fetching his soother for mommy, playing with Ezra on his play mat and touching or "tickling" Ezra on the top of his head. My momma's heart is complete with these two sweet boys in my life. Although life has changed, I remind myself that one day, a sense of "normalcy" will return, and these long days and sleepless nights will someday be a long afterthought in the completeness of our family. Our beautiful, loving family. We are blessed. Welcome to the world Ezra. We love you. xoxoxo, Momma.